A Wreck

I'm not sure what to blame for the high emotions of the past two weeks. It could possible be that I'm over worked and not sleeping enough. It could be women stuff. It could be that I left Hull after Valentines weekend wishing I wasn't leaving; I sat in the departure lounge trying to work out if it made sense to walk back out of the airport, without getting on the plane. It could be that I'm due back in Hull in a matter of days and I don't feel like I'm wanted. I know that I am, but knowing something and feeling something are different at times. Batman's been really busy and quiet lately, add the distance to the mix and my crazy mindset and it doesn't make things easy. Why he still puts up with me I'll never understand. I must drive him up the wall sometimes, yet he still wants me there.

Anyway...enough of that. I finally sent off my application for the teaching course. I'm scared to do it, but it's sent. Not an hour ago, but it is sent. Now all I can do is wait.

I've been up the walls the last two weeks, picking little fights with people, crying at the drop of a hat and over the stupidest things, I'm tense and angry, and I don't know why. And I also think I'm sick, I'm either freezing cold or boiling. I can't seem to find a happy medium. I want to up and leave but I can't go anywhere, I have no money. I want to be in England, but I can't afford to stay for long because there are no jobs and I have no money.

Man my complaints are repetitive aren't they!?

To Teach, or not To Teach

I'm scared. Again. I've sent off my PGCE application form for my referee to fill in his section, and once thats done, I'm done. I will send it in and be officially applying for another course at university. And I don't even know if its what I want to do. It's another option, and one that will open more doors for me. Which is great, really great. But do I want to be a teacher? Do I want to go into work every day and deal with hormonal teenagers, angry at the world for cutting them a raw deal and try and let them see through literature that they are not the first kids to feel that way; that they are not the first generation to suffer and to feel ostracised. But then no teenager wants to hear that do they? They want to feel like the only ones who've been done wrong by.

Anyway, enough of that. I've booked flights to go to Hull for a weekend, the end of the elections weekend. March 5th to 9th. Batman is running in the elections and I want to be there for him. I'd rather be there for the whole thing, the lead up, the campaigning, the whole shebang, but as it stands I can't afford to be. So I'm gonna be a good girlfriend and be there for the last day of the elections, so I'm there for the results.

If I'm dating Batman, does that make me batgirl? Or someone else?