Fear of Missing Out.

I am a strange anomaly. I love order and structure and knowing exactly what’s happening in the coming days and weeks. But I also love spontaneity, although this has a bad habit of showing itself as impulse buying concert tickets (did that two weeks ago) or flights (did that two days ago). I don’t know if it’s due to FOMO or if it’s some deep seeded motivation to find happiness, but whatever it is it is bad for my bank balance!

The flights I booked two days ago are unlike any I’ve booked before. Because I have booked a city break but I have no idea where we’re going.

My boyfriends birthday is in November and once my own birthday is done with I start thinking about his. What on earth to get him? After a decade together I can no longer surprise him, and there’s only so many times you can buy someone a signed book or print. So I started looking at trips. My first instinct was the Bubble Domes in Fermanagh, but as we live right down south of the country and his birthday is in November I figured it was too unpredictable and too awkward to get to. Spending money to sleep in a bubble in an Irish winter seemed like a possible waste. It rains here more often than not, and as much enjoyment as I get out of watching the rain drip down the side of a window, I don’t think it’s exactly a birthday treat.

So I remembered a website I had come across last year, srprs.me, that offers to take the stress out of planning your trip. You tell them when you want to go and how many people are travelling, and they do the rest. You don’t find out your destination until you are In! The! Airport! 

A friend of mine laughed when I told her I had booked it, saying she thinks I won’t be able for it, that she can’t see me relinquishing control over the hotel and flights and, more importantly, the end destination. But I think that’s exactly why it will be a good thing. He and I travel a lot but its usually to the same few places, visiting family and friends, or going to shows and gigs. And I do the majority of the planning. This will be somewhere completely new and just for us. And with none of the stress that goes into the planning.

This will be a different kind of stress. Wish me luck!

 

Musical Promises

I made a promise to myself at the start of the year. I promised that I would go to shows, see live music, spend what little extra cash I have on events that make me happy and will give me wonderful moments to create happy memories. I’ve spent far too much of my life not doing the things I wanted because of the cost, or because I really shouldn’t take time off work or for whatever reason. So what it boiled down to was a promise to go see live music more. And on the back of that I booked tickets a couple of months ago to go see one of my favourite groups when they came to Dublin. The gig was Monday night, the place was The Olympia, the band was Pentatonix and the night was phenomenal! They are five of the most stunningly talented people in the music scene at the moment and I am thrilled to have seen them live, and in such a wonderfully intimate venue. PTX can sell out arenas stateside but it was beneficial for the fans here that the same is not true of them in Ireland – yet (give it time.) The Olympia was jam packed and everyone there got an amazing experience. Having seen their documentary and their Youtube videos, I knew that they do a big show, but it translated well to the smaller stage of The Olympia. The setting was simple, these guys and their team know that the voices and songs are the true focus so there is no need for fireworks or costume changes. A light show and some smoke added to the excitement but they needed nothing more. The audience love them as they are.

The highlight of the night for me was the first encore song. A track entitled Light In The Hallway. A lullaby of sorts, they put their individual mics on the ground and curved around two small floor mics, the lighting was simple, resembling firelight washing over them, and they sang a beautiful, almost haunting melody. Avi Kaplan is a joy to listen to and he shines on this song. The whole performance was a joy, with Kevin Olusola’s cello and beatbox solo another highlight. The friends I went with agreed we would happily go to see Kevin perform by himself. The whole group seemed genuinely excited and enthused by the thunderous applause they received, which was much deserved.

Music & fear

First things first, the gig last night was fantastic. The set was a clever mix of new and old, including some so old that none of us knew them. {However the four guys in front of us knew every word.} It was just Amy & Emily and a dozen or so guitars. I pity their sound guy. His job was to bring on the right guitars for each song, removing the guitars from the previous song, and tuning the guitars for the next song while they played. Not an easy task I'd say. They played for an hour and a half straight and I loved every minute. Two very talented musicians. I think thats one of the reasons I like them. There's no jazz or drama about them, they just play good music and sing great lyrics. Their albums are usually recorded with a band, but any time we've seen them play its just been them and their guitars, and its always an amazing gig. I'd recommend them to anyone.

Change of topic. Walking home from work this evening I ended up behind a group of 'youths'. I counted and there were 16 of them, all darkly dressed and all about 14 or 15 I'd say. And I felt intimidated. Not entirely sure why. Could have been the time of year, or that it was after 8:30 and pretty damn dark out. Or that there were so many of them and just one of me. Or that they were discussing playing pranks like knock a dolly. {Not the term they used, but same idea.} Either way, I could feel me feet slowing down while they blocked the way ahead, and then speeding up once I knew I could pass them; my heart starting to race as I overtook them, hoping they kept ignoring me. At the time I felt a little silly and I still do for reacting that way to a bunch of teenagers. But at the same time, I think I'm right to be a bit nervous.

For as long as I've been going out in Tramore I have never had a problem with walking home alone after a night out. But in the last few months when I've been out, I've tried to avoid it. I shouldn't have to be nervous about walking home through my estate - that's the bit that bothers me as it's quite dark - but I am. Is it a sign of the times, or am I just getting old and a bit more sensible? Or sensitive?

Christmas is Upon Us!

It is officially Christmas time! 24 days and counting!! I heard three Christmas songs on the radio today, so its almost here. Although when I hear Wham!'s Last Christmas then it is officially the festive season and I can start getting excited. I think everyone has their own Christmas song, one that makes them excited about the season, and use it to judge the start of the excitement and when they hear it on the radio its the starting line. Playing it yourself just doesn't count. Last Christmas is mine. I remember listening to it at Christmas as a small kid, and I have always loved Wham! so it makes sense.

Aside from Christmas jingles, life is going along at a fairly regular pace at the moment. I went to Dublin last Tuesday to have a bit of a day out and do some Christmas shopping. All I ended up buying was things for myself. But I enjoyed it, and isn't that what counts? I've never been so organised for Christmas so early. I'm probably jinxing myself now, but I am. I have my secret santa gift, and I know what I'm getting the kids, I just have to go buy it. And as for Batman and The Viking I have their gifts in my head. It's just a case of getting a couple of bits and pieces together and they're done.

I've booked flights to go over to Hull for New Years. I want to spend it with my boys, rather than sitting in at home watching movies by myself. Because if I stay here I know that's probably whats in store for me. So I'll be in Hull from the 29th until January 10th. Almost two weeks!! But it's to go job hunting as well as celebrating the new year. Oh the joys!

Kavfest

For the last few years, the first weekend in July sees Tráfest take over the streets of Tramore. Three days of live music in bars, on the streets on and off official stages. This year however things were different. The festival's main sponsors pulled out a few months ago, and it looked like Tráfest was to be no more. Two local men - a father and son team - took it upon themselves to put something together. So instead of three days, we had one day. Today. Sunshine, music, food, drink, people. There isn't a lot that gets better than that. I caught a few of the bands today, mainly Pugwash and The Pale. Both were good, but The Pale - a band I've liked for years but never had the chance to see live - were fantastic. They were everything I expected and more. The day itself was fun, but once the music stopped I felt kind of like I was intruding. Which sounds peculiar, I know. I've ben away from this town so long I've missed out on gossip, on events and just the regular week to week banter that comes from having a local with local people.

I was fine during the music, cause we were dancing and fooling around. But once the music stopped and people started talking properly.....I missed my boys. I missed Hull and the people I've left behind.

It's a strange thing that. I was talking to my older sister about it all, and though she did the Uni thing, she stayed at home, so kept the same friends and didn't really make life long friends at Uni. I on the other hand, made some of the best friends I am ever going to have. And now I've gone from seeing them on either a daily or weekly basis to not knowing when I'll be in the same country as them again, let alone see them again. Which is a lot harder to handle than I would care to admit. Although, what I will admit - I've cried only once. Been tempted more than that but can't seem to let it happen. I'm sure it will. I just want to go back. I want to be with my boys. {I know, I use the term 'my boys' a lot, just one of those things. I hang out with girls singularly, and boys in a group.} But I miss them. A hell of a lot.

Calling Batman, Come In Batman.

Week two at home is done. And has anything changed? No. Cv's have been sent out, flights have been booked and the rain is falling heavier now than a week ago, but thats kinda it.

Went for a walk with my 4 year old nephew this morning, we went down to the beach. That is actually the most exciting thing I've done with any of my days this week.

I booked flights, back in the UK on the 10th of July. Back in Hull on the 12th. Going to York for a couple of gigs and to see friends. Really looking forward to that, though Lord help me but I can't remember the names of the bands I'm going to see. I'm sure they'll be good.

No, I actually have nothing else to talk about. See you in the next cartoon...

...Commissioner Gordon!

Queues and Snow

I tried posting the other night while I was queuing for ball tickets in the union but the union computers don't seem to like blogger, so it didn't work. But to repeat what I said there, oh my god! I queued from midnight on Sunday evening and tickets went on sale at 10am on Monday morning. It was an experience - that I do not want to repeat, ever! Didn't help matters that it had been snowing from 7pm that evening and didn't stop until about 1am. Started about about 6 ish but didn't last long.

On another note, on Saturday evening I went to a village/town on the other side of the Humber Bridge called Caistor to see a local variety show, and I can honestly say I haven't had that much fun in a long time. It was fun to see a local production, something that the community put their heart and soul into and spent hours and hours preparing. It made me want to get the Tramore Musical Society up and running again, but I think I would be met with difficulties, from most people.

Song Lyrics

I heard some lyrics this morning that are possibly the best I have heard in a long time. The song is by Joshua Radin, I'm unsure of the title though. He's describing his girlfriend as famous women. These are just some of the lines I like.

You're Sylvia Plath, as you drift from the bath
I hand you a robe and so it goes, the moment has passed

You're Simone de Beauvoir, as you get out the car
The way you read me, no one can see me, its who you are

You're Nina Simone, when you talk on the phone
You sing to me then I'm truly no longer along.

Rants

It's a bit peculiar, I have been really really busy for the past two weeks, and yet I have nothing to write about. I've been reading, trying to keep up with everything that needs to be read for class. I've been doing stuff with the ISA, trying to organise a festival, a winter ball and trips. I've been trying to still be sociable, my nights out though have dropped back to one {occasionally two} a week, and it's generally still karaoke. An ISA party if there is one. Have not been to Asylum since Halloween, and even then I left early as was just too tired to enjoy it. Invited there tonight but just could not pluck up the energy to go, even though it's Hillbilly night. Which could be really funny.

FINALLY saw Stardust!! It's a fabulous film! Well worth going to see! Two or three times! Possibly one of the best fantasy films that's come out in the twenty years since The Princess Bride was released. Yes, it is twenty years this year since The Princess Bride was released into theatres. How scary is that?? But yeah, anyway, back to Stardust. Robert Di Niro is amazing. I knew this before this film but it just adds to his awesomeness!!

It was a month with Nick the other day. Seems a little strange to me. I generally get to a couple of weeks with guys and want rid of them, but it hasn't happened. Even a friend of mine commented, saying "Isn't a week about normal for you?" and he's right.

Anyway, if I don't stop now I'll end up rambling about absolute nonsense. Such as the fact that Westlife have been allowed - yet again - to disfigure and demolish an amazing song. They have gotten their grubby mitts on Michael Bublé's 'Home' and destroyed it. And yet the general public seem to love it. Why are people so stupid? Why do they follow the crowd, liking what they are told to like? They should think for themselves and realise that Westlife only do covers, and all of the songs they have ruined were in fact once amazing.

Dinner Part Two

It has been a very very long time since someone took me out for dinner. Where it was an actual date, and the guy paid and was a gentleman. I think it's actually been years. But last night made up for the lack of them.
He took me to Frankie & Benny's - which ok, is a chain restaurant but it's a good one, so I wasn't about to complain. It's funny, we're together a week, less even, and he has already gotten me talking about the two things I become passionate and animated about - books and music. The other night we talked about what we want to do after uni, and I started talking about books, which led on to favourites, which always gets me excited. I think I told him the storyline for all three of Mitch Albom's books. And then last night at dinner, it being Frankie & Benny's, the music was amazing {all 50's songs for those who don't know} and I knew all of them! Of course! And even with my sore throat I was still singing along - or at least attempting to. And we ended up discussing music, and I got a little aggitated as I was reminded that Westlife have covered my favourite Michael Bublé song. Someone allowed them to take Home and mangle it. I am not a happy bunny.

One last thing, for those curious ones out there - his name is Nick.

Baking, Rock Music & Girlfriends!

Being back at university seems to be taking its toll on me, but I don't think its neccisarily a bad thing. I've had trouble sleeping the past few nights, but it has caused me to be more productive. Last night I was awake until after three, and awake again this morning at about 9:30, but it meant that I finished reading a play and am now about a third of the way through another book. However I'm also baking a lot, and listening to my heavy/rocky music. I baked sugar cookies last week, apple crumble yesterday and am going to try skins and garlic and bacon sauce today. Assuming I don't burn the kitchen down while trying to cook the skins! But the music mixed with the baking isn't a good sign. When I listen to this kinda music {Nickleback, Rasmus, Def Leppard} while doing something creative like baking or painting, it usually means I'm feeling stressed and need a release. Either that or I want to do something....different!! But when it happens one session usually fixes everything....not this time. I'm on baking effort three and still feeling tense and wound up. Maybe I'm just looking for the right kind of junk food to make me feel right again!

Monday was my first class for the semester. Yesterday I had my second, and my third and fourth ones are on Friday. So today and tomorrow are free. I had intended to put them to good use and be productive, so far it's not going too well. It's ok, but not great. Fingers crossed that I'll get some inspiration later on this evening. I was sitting in my Prose Portfolio class on Monday, and kept thinking to myself that I have no idea what to write for the class. I have a 5000 word piece due in May, which can be one of three things, either one long short story, the beginning of a novel or novella, or a collection of short shorts, which must all be connected somehow. Where to begin? How to begin? I'm scared.

And now for something totally unrelated. I have discovered a new pet peeve - girlfriends!! As a general observation, most of my friends are of the male variety. I have a handful of female friends, who I can see on a regular basis and not want to decapitate. But in general I have always gotten on well with guys and my male friends outweigh my female ones at least 3 to 1. Now this wouldn't be a problem in and of itself, but it's when you include the girlfriends into the equation that we get the problem. Supposedly I am a threat. One friend of mine cannot say hello to me in the street if he is with his girlfriend because she will throw a strop at him for it; another can talk to me and see me, there's no problem there, but his girlfriend has made it fairly obvious to me that he is 'her man' and not available. Little things she does, like wrapping her arm around his when we talk, or laying her head on his shoulder....just making sure I'm aware they're together. A message to her: I am aware.
How in the hell can I be a threat? Am I being punished for being a friendly, chatty, outgoing person now?? Can't I do anything right?