I've just returned from a weekend in Hull. Yeah I know I didn't mention specifics of it before I left but I had my reasons. Namely I wanted to surprise one of my friends and I have a feeling he occasionally dips in and out of this, and knowing my luck and his timing he would have read it before I went over.
I had a fantastic time. I can't really say much else without being repetitive, but I think I shall. I saw Batman for four days. Which I really really needed. It's kinda crazy how short a month is in comparison to the grand scale, but how long it can be when its what's standing between you and seeing someone who makes your whole world brighter. I spent my days seeing people and having food and coffee with friends I've missed more than I thought I could. I spent my nights with Batman and the other regular crew, drinking, watching movies, chilling out. And spent a lot of time just doing nothing in particular. But that's the way I like it.
I had some duties to attend to this weekend however. I had to meet the new girlfriend of not one but TWO of my close friends. And I'll be honest, one of them I was not looking forward to meeting, and I really didn't want to like. But I do. She's a nice girl, and she's good for him. Not entirely sure he's ready for her and what dating her means, but I like him. And the other one was quiet but seems nice. And he's happy, again thats all that matters.
My other duties were of the meet the parents variety. I was kind of nervous before hand, but once they arrived I realised I was being silly. Parents generally love me. We went for lunch, and I slowly gathered how this family works. Dad is relaxed and chilled and Mom is the stern captain of the ship. Or so it seems. Batman really looks like his Dad, and from the short time I spent with them, I think personality wise they're very similar too. I could be wrong. Supposedly they think I'm nice. Good start I hope.
Right, I'm damn cold and it's late. Sleep is a must. Photos of the weekend will follow soon.
Wednesday 29 October 2008
Tuesday 14 October 2008
Disaster of a Day
I should be on a bus right now on my way up to Dublin to attend a Graduate Careers Fair, an opportunity to meet and impress potential employers and give my cv to the unsuspecting reps for numerous companies. I've been debating with myself for a few days whether I really wanted to go or not. My dad suggested it and I agreed it might be a good idea. Which in fathertongue means I'm going. I know he's just looking out for me and wants me to succeed and to be happy, but I don't see the point in going to this fair. If I am to stay in Ireland, I really want a job in the south east. Somewhere accessible from home. Somewhere that I can commute from home. It makes saving a lot more feasible. However if I was to get a job elsewhere in the country it would mean having to pay rent and food and whatnot, leaving next to nothing for saving. Tramore might not be my ideal location right now, but it makes financial sense.
So I had been tossing and turning over whether to go today or not, and I decided to prep to go. So I printed a few dozen cvs and put them in envelopes, found time tables of trains and buses and picked a time to leave. My bus was at 7:55 am. That would get me to Dublin sometime around 12, which would mean getting to the Arena sometime around1. Giving me an hour to look around and talk, before heading back into town to get a 3 o'clock train home. A lot of travelling for a little time in Dublin, but who knows? It might do me good. I got up this morning at 7, and dawdled. There is no other word for it. I was still debating the trip and whether it would be worth it. But I left the house at 7:45, determined to give it my best shot.
The bus stop is at the bottom of a hill. As I began to head down the hill I could see the bright red bus with its orange lights sitting at the bottom. 'Great,' I though, 'I'll make it.' Only as soon as I thought those words the bus began to pull away. I was too far away to make a run for it so all I could do was stand there and watch. So I turned on my heels and trudged home in the rain. The next bus was well over an hour away so I wasn't waiting. And I've sat here for the past hour debating whether it's worth my while to get the next bus. And I've decided it's not. By the time I'd get to the Fair it would be after 2, and it's only open until about 3. And it would mean not getting home until almost 9pm tonight. Really not worth it.
So goes my job hunt....slowly but surely twisting down the drain.
So I had been tossing and turning over whether to go today or not, and I decided to prep to go. So I printed a few dozen cvs and put them in envelopes, found time tables of trains and buses and picked a time to leave. My bus was at 7:55 am. That would get me to Dublin sometime around 12, which would mean getting to the Arena sometime around1. Giving me an hour to look around and talk, before heading back into town to get a 3 o'clock train home. A lot of travelling for a little time in Dublin, but who knows? It might do me good. I got up this morning at 7, and dawdled. There is no other word for it. I was still debating the trip and whether it would be worth it. But I left the house at 7:45, determined to give it my best shot.
The bus stop is at the bottom of a hill. As I began to head down the hill I could see the bright red bus with its orange lights sitting at the bottom. 'Great,' I though, 'I'll make it.' Only as soon as I thought those words the bus began to pull away. I was too far away to make a run for it so all I could do was stand there and watch. So I turned on my heels and trudged home in the rain. The next bus was well over an hour away so I wasn't waiting. And I've sat here for the past hour debating whether it's worth my while to get the next bus. And I've decided it's not. By the time I'd get to the Fair it would be after 2, and it's only open until about 3. And it would mean not getting home until almost 9pm tonight. Really not worth it.
So goes my job hunt....slowly but surely twisting down the drain.
Sunday 12 October 2008
Long time.
I don't even know when my last post was, but it must be fairly long because I thought of posting all by myself, with no reminders from anyone!
Mostly I wanted to get something out of my system, well a couple of things. The first is a very upsetting and kinda disturbing dream I had last night. It was a long complicated dream with people I don't know and some I do, and places that weren't familiar in the slightest but I knew them meticulously in my dream. But the thing that has stuck with me is that the Riddler {remember him from a previous post?} talked to me about how he felt he had no purpose and no one cared for him, and how he would be better off dead. Then he committed suicide, and my father was the one to find him. It was a little disturbing. Even though I've been awake and busy for at least 13 or 14 hours now I can still vividly see my parents standing in my bedroom doorway telling me he was dead. It upset me a bit. So much so that I got in contact with him shortly after I woke up to see if he was okay. He says he has some issues at the moment but he'll be fine. Not so sure I believe him but what can I do when I'm in a different country?
Other than that, I am just so sick of being here. There are no jobs to be had. I'm working in a newsagents for the time being to just get some money into my pocket and fund a trip to Hull before Christmas. And when I go over I am going to bring a stack of cv's and my best employ me outfit and smile. I love home, I love my friends, but there's just not enough incentive for me to stay here anymore. My friends, my life is in hull. I feel like a shell of my former self by being away from it all. Doesn't help that my best friend has a new girlfriend, and I sorta feel like I've been replaced in a way. My best friend and my boyfriend are hanging out constantly, and I used to be part of that equation, but now I'm not. And she's there with them on nights out and nights in and it makes me feel like I'm missing out even more. And worse still, I have to give my approval of her when I meet her. How am I supposed to approve of someone I'm jealous of and who I feel is replacing me? Can it be done?
To go back to speaking of home, two of the girls I went to school with were home for the weekend so we went out for a couple of drinks last night. Less than an hour into the night I started thinking how maybe I should pursue teaching so I'll at least have something to talk to them about. I can't say I didn't enjoy the night, I did. For the most part. I still feel a bit out of place here now so it wasn't the easiest night for me. I will admit I did leave the pub earlier than everyone else, and was glad to. I had been leaving an hour before but had another drink bought for me so I stayed. Then some girls we went to school with showed up and sat with us, even though I would guess it's been at least four years since I had a conversation with any of them that lasted longer than 5 minutes. Which is quite sad, because one of them was one of my best friends in school, and her fiancé was another. Now I'd be surprised to even get an evening invitation to the wedding. But these things happen right? Its said that the friends you make at college/university are the ones you keep for life, and I can genuinely see that happening, but I don't want them to be the kind of friends I see a couple of times a year, I want to see them as often as possible. But until I get decent money, or a decent job in the Uk, it aint gonna happen. And I miss them. Terribly.
Mostly I wanted to get something out of my system, well a couple of things. The first is a very upsetting and kinda disturbing dream I had last night. It was a long complicated dream with people I don't know and some I do, and places that weren't familiar in the slightest but I knew them meticulously in my dream. But the thing that has stuck with me is that the Riddler {remember him from a previous post?} talked to me about how he felt he had no purpose and no one cared for him, and how he would be better off dead. Then he committed suicide, and my father was the one to find him. It was a little disturbing. Even though I've been awake and busy for at least 13 or 14 hours now I can still vividly see my parents standing in my bedroom doorway telling me he was dead. It upset me a bit. So much so that I got in contact with him shortly after I woke up to see if he was okay. He says he has some issues at the moment but he'll be fine. Not so sure I believe him but what can I do when I'm in a different country?
Other than that, I am just so sick of being here. There are no jobs to be had. I'm working in a newsagents for the time being to just get some money into my pocket and fund a trip to Hull before Christmas. And when I go over I am going to bring a stack of cv's and my best employ me outfit and smile. I love home, I love my friends, but there's just not enough incentive for me to stay here anymore. My friends, my life is in hull. I feel like a shell of my former self by being away from it all. Doesn't help that my best friend has a new girlfriend, and I sorta feel like I've been replaced in a way. My best friend and my boyfriend are hanging out constantly, and I used to be part of that equation, but now I'm not. And she's there with them on nights out and nights in and it makes me feel like I'm missing out even more. And worse still, I have to give my approval of her when I meet her. How am I supposed to approve of someone I'm jealous of and who I feel is replacing me? Can it be done?
To go back to speaking of home, two of the girls I went to school with were home for the weekend so we went out for a couple of drinks last night. Less than an hour into the night I started thinking how maybe I should pursue teaching so I'll at least have something to talk to them about. I can't say I didn't enjoy the night, I did. For the most part. I still feel a bit out of place here now so it wasn't the easiest night for me. I will admit I did leave the pub earlier than everyone else, and was glad to. I had been leaving an hour before but had another drink bought for me so I stayed. Then some girls we went to school with showed up and sat with us, even though I would guess it's been at least four years since I had a conversation with any of them that lasted longer than 5 minutes. Which is quite sad, because one of them was one of my best friends in school, and her fiancé was another. Now I'd be surprised to even get an evening invitation to the wedding. But these things happen right? Its said that the friends you make at college/university are the ones you keep for life, and I can genuinely see that happening, but I don't want them to be the kind of friends I see a couple of times a year, I want to see them as often as possible. But until I get decent money, or a decent job in the Uk, it aint gonna happen. And I miss them. Terribly.
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