Hi,
I've been thinking about you again. It hasn't happened for a while but well, here I am. I was lying in bed, the darkness overtook me but sleep refused to. I closed my eyes and saw your face. It brought back memories. Memories of walks we took together; the conversations we had. Memories of things you said to me that I'm sure you must have forgotten. Memories I sometimes think I would like to forget.
You said that I had charmed you, do you remember that? That night we met and spoke properly for the first time, you said I had charmed you and that you wanted to get the chance to know more about me. Do you remember saying that? I doubt it, but I remember. It's not something you tend to forget - being told you're charming. Although I've found I do like to remember genuine compliments. Everyone compliments everyone these days, so I like to pick out the genuine ones and keep them close to me. That one honest phrase from you meant more to me than most other things I heard that year. And that - if you'll take it - is a genuine compliment.
You said you would be there for me whenever I needed you, and you were as good as your word. I remember calling you quite late one night after getting some bad news and now knowing who else to turn to. I remember trying to disguise my voice so you wouldn't hear it shaking but you saw through me instantly. You turned up on my doorstep a half hour later and let me cry on your shoulder until the early hours of the morning, purely because you knew I needed you.
Thursday 16 August 2007
Monday 13 August 2007
Day out in Africa
Yesterday was my birthday, and the trip to Africa went ahead as planned.
We packed up the car and headed down to Cork, arriving about 1pm. We took our time walking the suggested route and taking pictures. It was a nice, chilled out day. My nephew Conor, who's 3, seemed to enjoy the play areas more than seeing the animals, but thats sort of to be expected. Eoin, though only a few months old, seemed to enjoy himself. He wanted to be out of the buggy and looking at things for a lot of it.
And Nici stayed as far away from the birds as possible, which isn't surprising considering what happened the last time an ostrich came near her. {She was three, and it pecked a biscuit - custard cream - straight out of her hand. She has had a fear of birds ever since.}
All in all the day was great fun. The rain stayed away, the animals were great to see, and I got to spend the day with my family.
Uni beckons again. In a matter of weeks I'll be packing up and heading back to Hull for another nine months. I'm more scared and nervous about this year than I have been about the previous two. It's my final year, that in itself is scary enough, but I think it's the idea of having to decide what to do with my life once I finish. I have friends who have graduated this summer and are currently looking for jobs. And not just jobs to keep them going until something better comes along but actual full-time life-time jobs. I can't do that. I've spent the past two months working in an office of a holiday homes complex and it's been fun, but I don't want to do it again. Office work is not for me. I can do it, and I know I can. There's a lot of paperwork and it's repetitve but it's do-able. I just don't want to do it. Having to answer the same questions day in and day out, having to deal with the same kind of people every day, the same complaints, the same accents....it's just wrecking my head. Thank god I only have three weeks left. Although, having said that, I'll miss the girls I work with. They make it entertaining.
We packed up the car and headed down to Cork, arriving about 1pm. We took our time walking the suggested route and taking pictures. It was a nice, chilled out day. My nephew Conor, who's 3, seemed to enjoy the play areas more than seeing the animals, but thats sort of to be expected. Eoin, though only a few months old, seemed to enjoy himself. He wanted to be out of the buggy and looking at things for a lot of it.
And Nici stayed as far away from the birds as possible, which isn't surprising considering what happened the last time an ostrich came near her. {She was three, and it pecked a biscuit - custard cream - straight out of her hand. She has had a fear of birds ever since.}
All in all the day was great fun. The rain stayed away, the animals were great to see, and I got to spend the day with my family.
Uni beckons again. In a matter of weeks I'll be packing up and heading back to Hull for another nine months. I'm more scared and nervous about this year than I have been about the previous two. It's my final year, that in itself is scary enough, but I think it's the idea of having to decide what to do with my life once I finish. I have friends who have graduated this summer and are currently looking for jobs. And not just jobs to keep them going until something better comes along but actual full-time life-time jobs. I can't do that. I've spent the past two months working in an office of a holiday homes complex and it's been fun, but I don't want to do it again. Office work is not for me. I can do it, and I know I can. There's a lot of paperwork and it's repetitve but it's do-able. I just don't want to do it. Having to answer the same questions day in and day out, having to deal with the same kind of people every day, the same complaints, the same accents....it's just wrecking my head. Thank god I only have three weeks left. Although, having said that, I'll miss the girls I work with. They make it entertaining.
Tuesday 7 August 2007
Older and Wiser?
So in a few days time I will turn 23. I've gotten to the stage now where I should be old enough to know better; old enough to know right from wrong; old enough to be happy with being an adult and not feel the need or want for childish things.
Thing is, I may be old enough, but I don't think I am ready for it. Part of me knows I am old enough to be the responsible one and take charge in a situation if I need to, but part of me still wants to be able to call someone else, someone older, and let them take charge. Let them do the organising and the planning, let them do the fixing. I'm still a child at heart and I think I'd like to stay that way.
Thing is, I may be old enough, but I don't think I am ready for it. Part of me knows I am old enough to be the responsible one and take charge in a situation if I need to, but part of me still wants to be able to call someone else, someone older, and let them take charge. Let them do the organising and the planning, let them do the fixing. I'm still a child at heart and I think I'd like to stay that way.
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