Musical Promises

I made a promise to myself at the start of the year. I promised that I would go to shows, see live music, spend what little extra cash I have on events that make me happy and will give me wonderful moments to create happy memories. I’ve spent far too much of my life not doing the things I wanted because of the cost, or because I really shouldn’t take time off work or for whatever reason. So what it boiled down to was a promise to go see live music more. And on the back of that I booked tickets a couple of months ago to go see one of my favourite groups when they came to Dublin. The gig was Monday night, the place was The Olympia, the band was Pentatonix and the night was phenomenal! They are five of the most stunningly talented people in the music scene at the moment and I am thrilled to have seen them live, and in such a wonderfully intimate venue. PTX can sell out arenas stateside but it was beneficial for the fans here that the same is not true of them in Ireland – yet (give it time.) The Olympia was jam packed and everyone there got an amazing experience. Having seen their documentary and their Youtube videos, I knew that they do a big show, but it translated well to the smaller stage of The Olympia. The setting was simple, these guys and their team know that the voices and songs are the true focus so there is no need for fireworks or costume changes. A light show and some smoke added to the excitement but they needed nothing more. The audience love them as they are.

The highlight of the night for me was the first encore song. A track entitled Light In The Hallway. A lullaby of sorts, they put their individual mics on the ground and curved around two small floor mics, the lighting was simple, resembling firelight washing over them, and they sang a beautiful, almost haunting melody. Avi Kaplan is a joy to listen to and he shines on this song. The whole performance was a joy, with Kevin Olusola’s cello and beatbox solo another highlight. The friends I went with agreed we would happily go to see Kevin perform by himself. The whole group seemed genuinely excited and enthused by the thunderous applause they received, which was much deserved.

Weightloss Week Two

I’m almost done with my second week with the weight loss group. I went along last Thursday and got weighed in and, much to my delight, I had lost 4&1/2 lbs. It was actually easier than I expected, although the first week was fairly full of salad. Its taken a bit of time to get accustomed to and I have found it more difficult to stick to the plan on week two than I did with week one, but I can tell you exactly why. Visitors. 

B’s parents came to visit for the weekend, and as always it was lovely to see them and spend time with them, but I found having people around called for entertaining which called for foods that are not exactly good for me. We watched the Eurovision, a tradition for me, and I had arranged to have healthy snacks, fruit and veg, things I love snacking on anyway. However take-away was suggested, and I considered saying no just for myself but I knew once the food came I’d want some and would end up pilfering from other people’s orders. Which was followed by a box of chocolates, among other things. The weekend was a downward slope, but I hoped starting back to the work week on Monday would help steer me in the right direction. It didn’t. Now I haven’t been terrible or eaten the weight I lost in Drifter’s but I haven’t been as good as I was on week one. 

I get weighed in tomorrow after work and I am just hoping to not have gained weight. Even if I just stay the same I’ll be more than happy. Promise to report back soon.

New Beginnings

Everything changed last summer. I was on track to the weight I wanted. Actually, the body I wanted. For possibly the first time in my entire life. I had starting exercising, and I was actually enjoying it. Three, sometimes four times a week I was going to a fitness class, I loved it. And between that and eating a little better it was doing wonderful things for me. Then last summer I had an amazing opportunity to start a new full time job. Having been in a part time job for a few years and knowing there was no chance of progression there, it was definitely worth considering. There was a catch however. It involved moving to another city. Great. Wonderful. Why not? Whole lot of reasons for and against but after a lot of discussion with B and my family, I decided to accept the job and see how things turned out.

The job is a sedentary office job. Five days a week. It's not my dream job but it's a full time, ok paid job that is possibly a job for life if it continues to go well. The biggest problem, and what has prompted me to write this, is that the combination of a new city, a sit down job and losing the class I was enjoying so much has meant that I am back to being pudgy; heavy; overweight; fat; even possibly clinically obese. I should add, these are not terms that have been used by other people to describe me. These are all self appointed descriptions. I am at a point where I am unhappy with my outward appearance and where I feel unhealthy and am concerned about how th  food  I'm eating are impacting my overall wellbeing. I don't feel comfortable or confident. I don't like wearing the clothes I used to love because now they cling in all the wrong places. They're tight and uncomfortable. I actually snapped my belt while trying to buckle it a few days ago. Now, the belt wasn't the newest or the sturdiest, but it was still an upsetting moment. And maybe even a pivotal one. I joined a weight loss group two days later. I'm undecided as to whether I'll name the group or not, maybe we'll wait to see what happens. My sister had joined the same weight loss group and has had success, so I decided it was worth a shot.

My first night the weigh in was a little terrifying. Thankfully it's a very private weigh in. But the positive part is that I am pretty much the weight I thought I was. If that makes sense. So that was Thursday night. This is now Saturday night and today was the first day I put their weight loss plan into action. Friday was a non starter. No reason, just wanted to put it off a day or two more. And also I think part of me wanted to come home and sit and talk with B about the food options and to try encourage him to join me. So today we did a big shop, and for the first time in probably nine months, there was no chocolate, no biscuits. Not a cereal bar in sight. It was plain weird. Actually it was just plain.

For a first day it wasn't terrible. Now the decision to go to the cinema later in the day may have been misguided, but I stood strong. I packed an apple and strawberries and ate those. The lingering scent of the popcorn as we heading in the doors was hard to ignore. Popcorn is half the reason I even go to the cinema. But I was proud of myself today. I bought a drink, nothing more. I ate my strawberries and my apple slices. And it was weird. It wasn't the end of the world. It wasn't life altering or emotional. But it was strange. And, before the movie was over (Marvel movie so it was over two hours) I was hungry. And not a little peckish but hungry!! Normally after a cinema trip, B and I would skip dinner. Tonight however we made dinner. A healthy one. Grilled chicken, (no skin), quinoa and veg (tomatoes, spring onions, peppers, carrots and sugar snap peas). And it was really tasty. But, again, less than two hours later, we're both hungry again. I mean I'm sure that's probably a good thing but I'm far too used to popping to the kitchen and grabbing a snack. Chocolate or crisps or biscuits. Something to satisfy a craving and sate the hunger. Tonight, I went for a banana. Not nearly as exciting as M&M's but it will be worth it.

I aim to write and update how I'm getting on a couple times a week. Hopefully the task of writing about my food, eating habits and weight will make the journey more bearable. It might even be helpful to someone else. So, here I am, taking the first step to the rest of my life. Hopefully a healthier one.