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Happy Bat Day!

Spouting randomly.

Some people find it strange that I don't enjoy being at home as much as they expect I should. A semi-traditional Irish family. Big, chatty, friendly, welcoming, musical and definitely entertaining. But yet sometimes I really dislike being here. Nobody in this family talks to anyone about anything real. To get my younger sister to actually discuss her ill treatment of me and everyone else I had to ambush her at around 12:30 am after watching movies. Catch her out unawares and make her open up. It worked, but only I think because she's young and can be saved. I'm not so sure it will work for other members of the Mernagh clan. Both my sisters and I are unhappy with things our mother does, but will any of us confront her about it? No. The reason? We were never taught to; it is not something that is done in this household. Although I don't know if it's an Irish thing or just a this family thing, but since living in England I have become more vocal about how I feel, and more confident about talking to other people about how I feel and how they feel. I am now willing to talk to someone about something they've done that upset or distressed me, let them know how I feel and find out why. Yes it does sound slightly Dr. Phil-ian, but it works. Otherwise we end up carrying hurt and guilt around with us for much too long, therefore building grudges when we should in fact be building bridges. {Yeah yeah, clichéd, be quiet!} The reason I would rather be back in England is I am comfortable there, with who I am and with showing who I am. Here I stay reserved and quiet and keep things in because whats the point trying to talk when I know no-one will answer.