First Timer

Nineteen years old and still a modest girl. I had intended to stay that way, at least until I found someone I trusted enough to do it with. But I was pure no longer. I didn’t want to go with some random guy I barely knew but I had. I wanted my first time to be special, memorable, not regrettable. I knew it was going to hurt, I was prepared for that. I’d done my homework, but it still scared me. I knew I would get over the pain, and that I would end up enjoying it. Some people even got addicted to it –they did it once and wanted more and more.
He tried to sweet talk me into it. ‘It’ll only hurt a little bit,’ he told me.
‘But…the blood?’
‘That’s natural; almost everyone bleeds when they do it. Just don’t think about it. Relax!’ he told me ‘you’ll be fine. You’re in good hands. Trust me.’ He looked into my eyes and I believed him. ‘You still wanna do this?’
I nodded. I could feel the pain beginning and I wanted to dig my nails into the flesh of this guy who was causing it to cause him pain in return, but instead I clenched my fists and bit my lip to stop from screaming. I wanted to do this. I knew I’d probably regret it in the morning but I was here now, I wasn’t going to stop him.
Thoughts began to rush through my head, anything to distract from the pain I could feel. What if my friends found out I’d gone with some guy none of them knew? Or worse, what if my mum found out? I would not be the responsible girl she had raised if she did find out. I could try hide it but they’d uncover it, I know they would.
“Almost there.” I heard him say reassuringly. The ache was still constant, but I was becoming immune to it, each prick feeling slightly less painful than its predecessor. I heard the buzzing stop, and felt him pull away from my skin. ‘That wasn’t so bad now was it?’ he asked of me. I shook my head, feeling too shocked to speak. I was too scared to look but I did. I could just about make out the new black outline of a butterfly on my waistline, still slightly bloody from the needle.
“What about the colours?” I asked.
“Oh you’ll have to come back to get the specific colours done, that takes quite some time.” He was beginning to clear up his equipment.
“Come back?” I gulped. Once was enough I thought.
“Sure, in a couple of weeks when that’s healed. Make an appointment with Janet. Just make sure she knows it’s a tattoo appointment and not a piercing, we don’t wanna pierce those pretty wings. See ya.” And with that he left me alone with my new tattoo.