Home Sweet Home

But is it?

I've been home a week now. And as much as I love my family, and I like this town, things are different. Things change. It's inevitable.

The take away I ate from every week as a kid and a teenager has been sold. The name has changed, along with it the look, the menu and the staff.

The amusement park I spent an awful lot of my teenage years in is completely different. Yes, every year there are new machines and old ones get taken away or traded, but this is almost a total overhaul. It's just weird.

The people that I spent hour upon hour upon hour with, gossiping, giggling, plotting - most of them are no longer here. People are what make a place, and without them this place has lost some of it's glow.

I love my family, I love spending time with them, but part of me feels that by being away so much I'm missing out on a lot. Little jokes, sarcastic comments I would have gotten three years ago, when my sisters and I had the same sense of humour, I no longer pick up on because I've changed. I am even having trouble understanding my kid sister and my next door neighbour. I have lost touch with the accent. That's how bad its gotten. And what am I doing to fix it? Sitting online, searching for jobs in the UK.
This is my home, the place I grew up in, the place I made a lot of kid decisions in. Now, as an adult - supposedly - making adult decisions, all I can think is how I want to go back to England. I always say how I dislike this small town; but I dislike big cities too. Cities are too impersonal. Small towns are way too intimate. Everyone knows everyones' business. It's a nightmare. But it's life I suppose. I haven't yet found a happy medium, but I'm sure gonna keep looking.