Christmas has come and gone, and New Years looms around the corner, and I am already back in Hull. It was fun being back in the Bay for a bit, even if it was a short visit. Part of me wishes I had stayed longer, but another part of me is so glad to be back in Hull. It's getting really strange to be back under the watchful eye of the parentals. I think every time I visit it gets that little bit more odd. But it was fun. Christmas day was nice and relaxed. Breakfast at my sisters house, singing at mass as always, followed by a chilled out day, nice dinner and card games a-plenty.
Susan seemed to enjoy herself with my family. I was a little bit worried. Visiting someone elses home any other time of the year is a completely different thing, but to spend the Christmas Holidays with a family other than your own, from a completely different culture surely can't be the easiest thing to go through. But it all seemed fine, which is good. She saw quite a bit of the country too, which is a good thing. Took her to Cork for the day, and she went down for another day with a friend and saw Kinsale. Took her to Thurles and she met my grandmother and uncle. The best part of that was her reaction to my Uncle's accent. She could understand everything he said - a difficult thing even for me - but it was the thick Tipperary accent that gave her trouble.
I discovered this Christmas that no matter the time of year, my father still loves to play tour guide!! As with anyone who comes to visit, he took Susan to see the Hook. Which, aside from the bitter wind, was a really nice trip.
On a different sadder note, a young man washed up on the beach on Christmas morning. A guy who's family my family have known for years. He was 20 years old and it's believed he jumped from the cliff edge on the night of Christmas Eve. This is the third guy since April to try, and the second to succeed. What I can't help wondering is why? What is it that pushes them, that makes them feel they need to end their life? And why does it seem to all be the same age group? The three guys were all around the same age. What happens to men at the age of 20 that they think now is the time to end everything? My heart goes out to the families of these guys, they are the ones left behind and left wondering what happened. Wondering where they went wrong. Wondering if there was anything they could have done differently. Even the guy who jumped and lived to tell the tale, I can hardly imagine the thoughts going through his head this Christmas. I wonder has he since realised how selfish his actions were? It may sound cruel, but I do believe people who commit suicide to be selfish. They never seem to realise what they are leaving behind. Or who.
I've talked a friend through it once, tried to make him see that ending his life was not the way out, tried to show him that he had things to live for. I don't know if it was my words that stopped him or his own fear and thoughts, either way he's still here. Yes he doesn't have the easiest life, yes he has troubles and bad times and failed attempts at things, but he's still here to try and fail, to try and succeed. Unlike those two guys I mentioned. All they can do now is look down on those they left behind.
It's a shame that only after a person dies do they get told how much they are loved and wanted.
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